There once was an old old man who lived in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllan-tysiliogogogochuchaf. Not plain ordinary Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllanty-siliogogogoch, but Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogery-chwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf because he lived in the upper part of the village. He had lived all his life in either Llanfairpwllgwyngyll-gogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf or Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllan-tysiliogogogochisaf, the lower part of the village. He had never lived in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgog-erychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch proper. He wasn't posh enough to live in the village centre. It was either Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogery-chwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf or Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochisaf for him.

Everyy day the old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf would set out from his cottage. Some days he would collects the eggs his chickens had laid on Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch common, where he kept them. If he fancied some chicken to eat he would bring one of the chickens home with him. If he wanted anything from the little shop in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch he would swap a chicken or two with Mr Evans in the shop. He would set of from his cottage in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf some days to collect mushrooms for his tea, to pick some flowers to brighten up his living room, or to pick some blackberries that grew in the hedgerows all around Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. But most of all he set out to collect firewood from the woods just outside Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogery-chwyrndrobwllllantysiliog-ogogochuchaf so he could keep his house warm, cook his meals or to boil some water for a nice cup of tea. Every day he had a little errand to do, but every time he set off down the same road out of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf and walked the same lanes, or same fields or the same woods.

Then one day the old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf thought to himself "Why don't I turn right instead of left when I leave the house? I don't need any eggs today, I have plenty of blackberries and mushrooms, but I need some firewood. And yesterday I had trouble finding any where I normally collect it." So he left his cottage and turned right onto the little lane out of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf and headed to the woods he could see on the hill a little way away. "Perhaps nobody collects firewood there" the thought, "So perhaps there's plenty for me to collect". The old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll-gogery-chwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf made his way to the new woods as fast as his creaky knees would allow him. And when he arrived he found that these woods didn't have much firewood to collect as he expected. He wandered further into the woods and only then did he found some firewood to collect. He soon had a bundle that was just the right amount for him to carry back to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf, so he tied it up with some rope he always carried with him, slung it onto his back and made ready to find his way home. But he looked around and he didn't know which way to go. The old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll-gogerychwyrn-drobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf looked around him and didn't recognise that oak tree, or that beech tree, or that chestnut tree. He didn't recognise any of the trees around him. What should he do? He set off in the direction he might have come from, and after a while he came to a lane. He didn't recognise the lane, so he started walking down the lane on his creaky knees in the direction that he thought Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf might lie. He left the woods behind him and passed some fields, but he didn't recognise these either. But then he saw some cottages and a church tower and knew that he had arrived at a village. But it wasn't Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuschaf, it wasn't Llanfairpwll-gwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochisaf and it wasn't Llanfairpwllgwyngyll-gogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch proper. He didn’t know where he was. What should he do?

The old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf then saw a lady standing by the side of the road, so he crossed over to her and said "Excuse me madam, please can you help me? I have been out collecting firewood and I seem to have got lost in the woods. Please can you tell me which road I should take so I can go back to my little cottage in Llanfairpwll-gwyngyllgogerychwyrn ......" But before he could finish the name a bright red bus had pulled up, and the lady said "I'm sorry old old man, but I have to catch the bus and it won't wait for me," and she hopped aboard

The old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf then saw a man sitting on a bench, so he walked over to him and said "Excuse me sir, please can you help me? I have been out collecting firewood and I seem to have got lost in the woods. Please can you tell me which road I should take so I can go back to my little cottage in Llanfairpwllgwyngyll-gogerychwyrn ......" But before he could finish the name he realised that the man had fallen asleep and wouldn’t be answering him.

The old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf then saw a lady walking down the road, so he crossed over to her and said "Excuse me madam, please can you help me? I have been out collecting firewood and I seem to have got lost in the woods. Please can you tell me which road I should take so I can go back to my little cottage in Llanfairpwllgwyngyll-gogerychwyrn ......" But before he could finish she said “I’m sorry old old man, but I need to visit the shop at the other end of town and it will be shutting any minute now”, and she hurried off.

The old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf then saw a man approaching, so he said to him "Excuse me sir, please can you help me? I have been out collecting firewood and I seem to have got lost in the woods. Please can you tell me which road I should take so I can go back to my little cottage in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn ......" But before he could finish the man said “I’m sorry old old man, but I must dash, I’m late for work and they will not pay me if I am even just a minute late”, and he hurried away.

The old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf saw a lady approaching him, so he walked towards her and said "Excuse me madam, please can you help me? I have been out collecting firewood and I seem to have got lost in the woods. Please can you tell me which road I should take so I can go back to my little cottage in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgog-erychwyrn ......" But before he could finish the lady said “I’m sorry old old man, but my husband will be back from work any minute and will want his dinner on the table ready for him”, and she hurried off

The old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf then saw a man across the road, so he went over to him and said "Excuse me sir, please can you help me? I have been out collecting firewood and I seem to have got lost in the woods. Please can you tell me which road I should take so I can go back to my little cottage in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn ......" But before he could finish the man said “Sorry old old man, but I am very thirsty and the pub will open its doors any second now and there’s nothing more than a pint of fine ale that I want at the moment”, and he hurried off

The old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf then saw a vicar crossing the road, so he said to him "Excuse me vicar, please can you help me? I have been out collecting firewood and I seem to have got lost in the woods. Please can you tell me which road I should take so I can go back to my little cottage in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn ......" But before he could finish the vicar said “Sorry old old man, but I have a wedding to conduct and the bride and groom are expecting me right now”. As the hurried off the vicar called back “But if you are here afterwards perhaps I could help”.

So the he old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochuchaf looked around and saw no-one. This unfamiliar town was deserted. So he decided he would have to find Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn-drobwllllantysiliogogogoch-uchaf all on his own. He walked down the High Street and on passing the last house in the town, turned left ….. and was never ever seen alive again. Later that day the vicar and the three men and the three ladies met in the town and started talking about the old old man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliog-ogogochuchaf who had asked each of them the way to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwll-llantysiliogogogochuchaf. All the men and all the ladies and the vicar said that they hadn’t got the time for him to finish his question, but if they saw him now they would tell him to go down the high Street as far as the last house and turn right. And just half a mile along the road he would come to Llanfairpwllgwyn-gyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochisaf, the Llanfairpwllgwyn-gyllgogery-chwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and finally get back to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogery-chwyrndrob-wllllantysiliogogogochuchaf.

The next year some boys playing in the woods beyond the end of town, the woods just lying on the left hand side of town, found an old old man’s skeleton and a bundle of firewood in the brambles.