The people of Mµ have long memories and a tradition long oral history. But some of the stories from way, way back will seem fanciful and far-fetched to modern folk. There are tales of the gods walking the Land of Mµ and stories that are just incredible. Scholars from outside Mµ put this down to either exaggeration and flights of fancy changing the narratives over the centuries, or that they were composed as allegories. Are these stories myth or history, or a bit of both – “mythtories”? Here we report on the findings by archaeologists from the Mµniversity of Mµ which begin to support the idea that perhaps these tales are not so far-fetched after all! Read on.

12th January 2016

Mythtorians from the Mμniversity of Mμ have claimed to have found the skull of Herne the Hunter. It was being used as something to hang your hat on at the White Hγppo public house in Mμ.
Herne, according to legend, haunted the forests of Berkshire in England for many a long year, just as his counterparts did in Baveria, Bohemia, and other places beginning with B.
We are awaiting carbon speed-dating (its quicker) on the skull, but already the mythtorians are suggesting that Herne found that over time people got used to his bellowing and rattling of chains, so he gave it all up and retired to Mμ for its benevolent climate.
The pub has exceptionally wide doorways so perhaps Herne was a publican there in the past. A trip to the Library of Mμ reference section will probably confirm this.
Herne has been a popular cultural item in Mμ for many years. His image can crop up anywhere from bracelet ornaments to rather unusual boot mud scrapers like the one illustrated. So we can put some meat onto the bones of Herne - literally and metaphorically.

14th November 2016

More archaeological news. Evidence has been found for the legendary warrior king Ling Chμn who was supposed to have lived some 1500 years before the Mμng dynasty. A large dig has taken place on the water margins of the Little Big Mμorn River where its delta meets the Big Little Mμorn. Many thousands of plaster of paris figures of animals dressed as people were buried to guard the grave of Ling. They have survived because they were varnished in an array of bright colours giving them an almost plastic appearance. Burial seems to have not affected them at all. Many of the figurines are dressed in uniforms and others carry tools. It appears that all occupations required to tend to the king in the afterlife are represented, from nurses in case he caught something nasty to a plumber in case he had leaky plumbing. The animals may be based on the king’s actual pets. The actual burial sites of Ling Chμn and his wife Hμsan Nang have yet to be found but there are some inscriptions in a chamber at the centre. Examples of the these have been translated as ‘Ling Rules OK’ and ‘Kow Chμ smells of poo’. After a good hose down the figurines will go on show all over the Land of Mμ.
It is believed that the common Mμian sayings ‘do not despise the snake for lacking horns, for it may turn into a snail’ and ‘the peasant in the paddy field may not be a rice farmer, he may just be keeping his feet cool’ were penned by Ling Chμn.

15^th September 2016

A well known legend in Mµ is that of the Mµnotaur, a strange creature who was half man and half bull. The story goes that the infamous King Mµdas had a night out with ‘the lads’, one of whom was his court jester who had a wicked (or dubious) sense of humour. Somehow, and here there are many variations of the story, after imbibing copious amounts of cabernet sauvignon the jester tricked the king into fathering the creature. The Mµnotaur was an embarrassment to the king and even more so to Mrs Mµdas. So it was condemned to live in a maze of privet hedges in the palace gardens, from which there was no exit. Then one day the Mµnotaur forced his way out, only to find that having done so he was transformed into a tree.
Tree felling near what is believed to be the site of the Mµdas Palace has revealed a strange sight. Mµians have found one felled trunk they believe was the Mµnotaur, lying on the ground and finally released from his centuries long entrapment. Experts from the Mµniversity will soon be studying this trunk, looking at the number of rings and for signs of bovine DNA.
In the meantime Mµians have been leaving bales of fodder at the site in a tribute to the poor monster. People are requested not to leave anymore, but to donate it to the Orphaned Calf and Lamb Sanctuary.

6^th September 2016

Out in the Desert of Mµ lies the Valley of the Kinks, so called because of how much it twists and turns. Earlier this summer it was reported that a long hidden tomb had been found there which seems to bring to life Hµthµth, the super-ancient Hµpµ god of beer, bacon and balti curries.
For centuries the only tangible clue to Hµthµth’s existence was a lichen encrusted statue in Mµ Park, showing a figure with the body of a man and a head of a Hµpµ. Whether this was a flight of fancy on behalf of the sculptor, a hoax, or based on any sort of reality was unknown. But what is a fact is that over the last 200 years of so the statue has been seen facing different directions.
The tomb has an ante-room decorated with murals. It is the one facing the entrance that has attracted most interest. Unseen for centuries, but still in pristine condition, it depicts a day in the life of Hµthµth. Firstly, having parked and locked his chariot, he is seen with Mrs Hµthµth still holding the key. They are going shopping at the sµq. Wµthµth, the dastardly double-dealing dog demigod has tried to cheat Hµthµth who is inspecting the scales. Mrs Hµthµth doesn’t want any trouble and wants to go to another shop, but Hµthµth is angry and writes a curse to befall Wµthµth. It must have been a busy day at the sµq, as there is a long line of people queuing to get their chariots, keys at the ready.

The tomb itself was found below the ante-room. Those who were expecting treasure were disappointed. There was just a single sarcophagus in there – apart from now desiccated bacon sandwiches and poppadums, and a bottle of beer, left by his servants to see the deceased into the afterlife. It looked as if the workmen, thinking that the tomb would be sealed for eternity, and not wishing to be included, dropped everything once the coffin had be put there and hastily sealed it up. Compared to the ante-room, which may have been tidied up by Mrs Hµthµth in case of visitors, the tomb looks like a student’s flat. The sarcophagus is still covered in dust and plaster, but small clues suggest that it contains the mummy of Hµthµth. The leader of the excavating team, Dr Sµµs, says the faint inscriptions on the sarcophagus are further evidence that the mummified remains Hµthµth lie inside. Once it has been taken back to the Mµniversity it will be cleaned. “I reckon it will scrub up real nice” said Sµµs. The next step is to try to extract and analyse some DNA from the mummy by a team of from the department of theologenetics. The ultimate aim will be to clone a new Hµthµth and see what sort of powers the gods actually had. Sµµs later declared that the bottle of beer was a bit light on the hops and a tad fizzy, but was palatable enough and would have complemented the bacon sandwiches quite well.

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