when Nobby Nobbs became Nobbes and hob-nobbed with the nobs.

There are a couple of unusual murders in Ankh-Morpork. Old Father Tubelcek, a priest who never had an enemy and who helped many is found with his head caved in and a rolled up piece of paper in his mouth. He has some clay under his fingernails. And over at the Dwarf Bread Museum Mr Hopkinson is lying on the floor, his head also caved in with a loaf of battle bread - the crust was damaged such force had been used. There is a smell there that is the same as the clay. At the Ramkin residence another student Assassin tries his luck and soon regrets trying, escaping with a few first degrees from landing amongst in the swamp dragon sanctuary.

The Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons label that was included once per sheet of Blue Bernards. It was intended as a Wincanton post label.

Vimes has a number of appointments (according to his new and irritating Dis-Organiser), first being the Guild of Heralds to sort out a coat of arms. He is surprised to find that they have a full menagerie of heraldic animals, including Keith and Roderick the hippos, which they get to pose for any new arms. He is not so impressed with their punes used on the mottos. The Vimes shield included a marble bust, playing on the name Stoneface. Dragon King of Arms, a vampire, informs him that after his ancestor murdered (executed corrects Sam) the last king the family arms were decreed null and void, and could never be resurrected.
Dragon lists some of the old family names, including Nobbes. C.W.StJ. Nobbs, aka Nobby, could well be the great-grandson of the last Earl of Ankh. Nobby is currently practicing with the historical re-enactment group, the Peeled Nuts. It is the 300th anniversary of the Civil War and he will be King Lorenzo; no-one wants to play his executioner, Stoneface Vimes.

The Guild of Heralds three penny shows the arms of                                             King Lorenzo get a mention on the Lambert Cordwainer limited issue.
 .Rudolph Potts. They puned the motto                                                                            Lambert was the very first postmaster of Ankh-Morpork
Because I knead the dough

Rumour sweeps Ankh-Morpork that Vetinari has been killed. The Watch make their way to the palace and find crowds outside The Patrician is found collapsed in the Oblong Office, alive but unconscious. A lack of injuries or forced entry suggests poisoning. New recruit Cheery Littlebottom is the forensics officer of the Watch. He (later to be revealed as a she) has been sent down by the Alchemists Guild. Cheery suspects arsenic has been use. Everything in the room is changed. Vetinari  has good moments then relapses. A new room is prepared for him, with extra food tasting, 24 hour guarding, and even replacing the curtains fails to prevent this. Vimes even considered the wallpaper as a potential for the poison. Even Vetinari’s paperwork and journal is checked, but found to be in the clear.
The Penny Patrician from the Year of the Complicated Monkey
demonstrates how Vetinati was when found

Alchemists Guild sticker which made
its way onto Wincanton post during 2015

Suspicion falls on golems, the non-living men-shaped clay models that are used for the dirty jobs. They can keep going 24 hours a day. They operate through words written on paper and placed in their heads; their chem. Cheery finds the glow of a golem`s eyes retained in Tubelcek`s own eyes, and in the mist over the Ankh Vimes is surprised by a golem that he thought was one of the hippos adorning the Brass Bridge. Dorfl, the golem used by Gerhardt Sock at his abbatoir, confesses to the killing of the two old men. His chem is the same as what was written on the paper in put in the priest`s mouth. It is in ancient symbols and translates to phrases like Thou Shalt be Humble.

The five pence Golem Trust stamp issued by the AMPO

No golems on the Brass Bridge
on this $5 triangular.

The first Letter to Pseudopolis from Gerhardt Sock has the hastily inscribed 3p on 10p green emergency issue. Note the butcher`s bloody fingerprint!

Carrot and Angua have found that a meeting of 12 golems took place and that Dorfl was chosen to confess. The other golems are committing the equivalent of suicide with industrial hammers and saws.
Due to the Patrician`s incapacity the guild leaders, under the chair of Mrs Palm of the Seamstresses, have a council. They all think Vetinari could be replaced, but then reflect on the relative stability he provides compared to when Mad Lord Snapcase and Homicidal Lord Winder were in charge. Mr Slant of the Lawyers Guild suggests there is an alternative. The newly found Earl of Ankh could a royal contender for a puppet head of state. They later try to frame Vimes by leaving a bottle of Bearhuggers best in his deak drawer, hoping that he will be tempted, together with a packet of arsenic. Vimes was tempted but realised it must be a trick so was stone cold sober when they called round in the evening.

The Seamstress three penny Corset was  The Lawyers Guild $5 had to have a reprint because of the poor   One of the Tiny Post envelopes was
issued in the Year of the Complicated          quality of the original. It also allowed the correction of a              addressed to Bearhugger’s Distillery
Monkey                                                                               mis-placed apostrophe.                                           in Freed Street.
 

There is more suspicion of poisonings across the city. Millie Easy, a maid from the palace, takes home some left over pate, and her grandmother and 14 month old William die. And at Gimlets Hole Food there are accusations that he is serving beef and chicken disguised as rat; several diners were quite ill after eating there. Gimlet reveals his source for rats is Wee Mad Arthur, and 6 inch tall little man who has the strength of 10 or more. He is tough enough to stand up to the Guild of Rat-Catchers, and he says his best hunting grounds are down below the Shambles where there are a lot of different trades. Fred Colon investigates and is knocked unconscious. He manages to escape in the sewers under the cattle pens at the abattoir with the help of Wee Mad Arthur. They come across an angry pale, almost white, golem.

Yo Rat! is Gimlets new fast
rat food outlet                                      Mr Ferrule heads up the Guild of Rat-Catchers

Nobby gets an invite to a party hosted by Lady Selachii, as he is now an Earl. They seem to try and ingratiate themselves while at the same time commenting on his vulgarity. Someone is heard to say Dragon chose well, before Nobby is plied with more brandy, and it is put to him that he should actually be on the throne of Ankh-Morpork. Nobby runs for it shouting Mr Vimes would go spare!. Nobby as a member of the nobility is all fiction.
It is finally deduced what has happened. A group of golems have created a new golem to become their king, Meshugah. Tubelcek wrote his chem, and Hopkinson baked him in his bakers ovn. But the chem was too complicated and contradictory; the oven was not hot enough; so they got a faulty golem who killed the two old men.
Carrot takes Dorfl to Gerhardt Sock, who does not want him back. Dorfl is bought for $1 and the receipt placed on his head, along with a second slip saying You are your own Master, setting him free. Dorfl`s first action is too release all the animal stock in the pens into the street.

The Easys lived on Cockbill St where Vimes grew up. He knows the
people are poor, but they would keep their doorsteps clean.

Vimes finally realises how the Patrician is poisoned. He insists on the highest quality candles, and these have arsenic in the wick. The go down to Arthur Carrys workshop and he owns Meshugah. There is a big battle. Carry is killed outside in an alley by someone or something that can fly, but not before he reveals the plot to replace Vetinari with a king. Carrot is injured by a crossbow bolt, and Meshugah and Dorfl fight to the death. Except that Dorfl`s parts are reconstituted to resurrect him. He eventually joins the watch in order to earn money to free more golems from slavery.


Arthur Carry advertised in the margin of the $2 Merchant Civic sheet. As this was issued
after these events presumably the firm was able to continue without him

Vimes confronts Dragon who has contempt for someone brought up in the Shades. He has Dragon arrested and taken to the Watch House by Dorfl. Somehow a candle falls over and most of the heraldic library goes up in flames. Vimes manages to rescue all the animals from the blaze, and finds them a home in the Scoone Ave house. Keith and Roderick are at home in the ornamental lake.
Vetinari remarks that he is out of action for a few days and there are 17 demands for Vimes` sacking. He has upset everyone of importance. There is only circumstantial evidence against Dragon as a vampire killer of Mr Carry, but Vimes knows that he must feature in a future plan of Vetinari, and will likely end up with a garlic impregnated stake in his heart eventually.
In fact, Vetinari knew the candles were to blame and was aware of the plots. He made sure he gave himself measured doses to remain ill whilst Vimes could foil the plot and ensure that the great and the good all had their toes trod on.
A Tiny Post letter addressed to the Commander, but at
Scoone Avenue rather than the Watch house                                                                It is rumoured that Keith and Roderick earned extra rations
                                                                                                                                 for posing for the artwork on the $2 Merchants Guild Civic