Let The Chase begin.

Fred Colon is the Ankh-Morpork Watch`s new traffic division, catching carts speeding over the Brass Bridge, and clamping unattended ones causing obstructions in the narrow streets. Elsewhere Vimes and Carrot have to interrupt the fun and games that passes for street entertainment when the Fools Guild building catches fire. Clowns can pour a bucket of water anywhere but not on the flames. Then they come across the aftermath of a disturbance between dwarf factions that seems to have started in Gimlet`s Deli. These make Vimes late for a meeting with Vetinari. The Patrician has already spoken to Lady Sybil, so Sam`s fate is sealed. He is to lead a diplomatic legation to Bonk for the coronation of the new dwarf king under his guise as the Duke of Ankh-Morpork. Sybil thinks Sam needs a holiday.

The Fools Guild building on the ten                No signs of any carts on the Brass Bridge in this scene           Gimlets Deli was one of eight Ankh-Morpork
pence stamp from the Year of the                                                                                                             establishments advertised on the selvedge
Reciprocating Llama                                                                                                                                of the Merchants Guild Civic sheet

He does get a briefing however. Uberwald is more of a region than a country; it is what countries are before they are countries - a collection of city states, duchies, towns and so on. These are ruled by the vampire and werewolf clans. Below ground is the dwarf kingdom, rule by the newly chosen king, Rhys Rhysson. It seems that the Ankh-Morpork dwarfs held the decisive vote and chose a (slighty) more progressive dwarf for the throne. The favourite had been Albrecht Albrechtson, who is reported to have never seen daylight. This is the reason for the recent disturbances. Vimes decides to take Angua, Detritus and Cheery Longbottom with them as all were from Uberwald and all species would be represented. Vetinari adds one of his clerks, Inigo Skimmer, to the group. The real reason for the delegation is not politeness, but commerce; Uberwald is rich in iron, gold and fat. Legend has it that Discworld was originally supported by five elephants, but one came loose and crashed into the ground, creating the seas and pushing up mountains. The fifth Elephant is the source of the fat mines. Skimmer will do all the negotiating on the mined deposits for the city.

The sport of the 10 Bz Uberwald stamp shows the
Fifth Elephant trumpeting as it crashes down through
the sky. It was issued in the Year of the Happy Goose.

There is a considerable amount of encrypted messages on the newly constructed Clacks semaphore system between Ankh-Morpork and Uberwald. The ruling families are keen to find out who the AM diplomat in charge will be, and all about him. Vetinari goes to see Leonard of Quirm in his office/studio/laboratory that is beyond a secret booby-trapped passageway in the Palace. Leonard has been decoding the messages for him and has created a nearly unbreakable cypher for the Patrician` own messages to Uberwald.
Before Vimes leaves Carrot shows him the replica Stone of Scone in the Dwarf Museum. The original is 1,500 years old and made of dwarf bread. Every Low King of the dwarfs has sat on it for his coronation. That same night the museum is broken into and the replica is stolen. The delegation leaves for the 250 mile coach trip to Uberwald minus Angua, who has gone missing without a word

The $1 Lancre Clacks stamp showing
one of the many designs used by Clacks
 tower builders.

Leonard of Quirm was honoured on a stamp in the
Great Inventor series. It shows his flying Kite design.

Shortly there is a murder in the city. Walter Sonkey, of rubber goods fame, has been killed in one of his own vats of rubber. The smell of the factory is the same as that lingering in the museum. Someone has forced Sonkey to make a rubber mould of the replica Stone of Scone before making sure he cannot tell anyone about the deception. Later the replica from the museum is found abandoned in the road.
Carrot, anxious about Angua going missing, hands in his badge in order to follow her. This leaves Vetinari no option but to promote Fred Colon, as senior officer in the Watch, to acting Captain. However within days the stress of leadership and his own personal opinions about the non-human members of the Watch sees him paranoid (especially missing sugar lumps), and most of the Watch resign. Constable Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets even has to hide in the pigeon loft to avoid Fred. The pigeons use his Omnian texts as nesting material. The rest form a Guild and go on strike.

Sonkey’s Rubber Goods on an advertising label from the
Merchants Guild two pence stamp sheet.
I am intrigued by the industrial use claim.

but I doubt that Om would decide to
take the form of an Ankh-Morpork
pigeon to save Constable Visit.

Carrot enlists the help of Gaspode, the only talking dog in town, to track Angua. They follow her trail, and find she has teamed up with a male wolf. In the village of Slant Cullot a bedraggled wolf caught by the villaged is saved from baiting with dogs by a bit of Gaspode trickery. The wolf tells Gaspode that wolves are on the move. Carrot strikes on dauntless. He is near exhaustion after three days without food and in a storm when they are found by Angua. She is with a pack of wolves led by Gavin, a big, very male outsider. Wolves do not normally like werewolves, and vice versa, but there is something afoot in Uberwald. Carrot, Angua and Gaspode are passed to another company of wolves, again led by Gavin, as they hurry to Uberwald.

Gaspode the talking dog featured on a limited edition funding
raising issue for Battersea Dogs and Cats Home. Would
Gaspode have approved any of the money being spent on cats?
 

The diplomatic party near Uberwald and are attacked, possibly by bandits or possibly not, at the pass of Willinus. They are driven off, and Vimes` suspicions about Skimmer are confirmed. He has been trained by the Guild of Assassins. While the coach heads for an inn, Skimmer sees to the defeated bandits. They eventually arrive in Bonk, where it seems that the guards have orders to be as uncooperative as possible, as a test of Vimes` resolve. They will stay at the AM Embassy which has an Igor as its one man staff - one being a rather loose description. Vimes goes with Cheery to see the important Uberwald families. First it is the Schmaltzburg caves of the Dwarfs. Here, deep underground, there is a lot of discord and shouting. At first the new king`s aide, Dee, says it is not a good time to meet Rhys, but eventually there is a get together. The dwarfs are not happy with Vimes suggestion the Stone of Scone has gone missing and insist nothing could happen to it. Next they see Lady Margolotta, the vampire. She is more welcoming but in a funny way, with use of a lot of chintz in her living room to create a look of anything but vampire. It revealed she is on der vagon and a member of the Uberwald League of Temperance. The von Uberwald werewolf family are worst. Their arrogance and disdain is barely concealed and it is apparent that some have difficulty in acting human when in human form. Angua is a member of the family but never ever talks about them. Neither did they ask about her.

The AMPO stamp for the
League of Temperance

                        
The Assassins Guild Thrupn`y Resurrection                The double-headed bat of Bonk on the                  Click on this for a large image to really
from the Year of the Prawn depicts the                         120 Bizot stamp from the Year of the                   appreciate the needlework on this
Guild coat of arms                                                                   Reversed Ptarmigan                                   Igor Thtitchup Thtamp.

Back at the Embassy Mr Skimmer has gone missing. Vimes pays a visit to the nearest Clacks tower and finds it deserted by the crew, and Mr Skimmer investigating. Sam returns, but Skimmer will have met his match by nightfall. Sybil has been measuring up the rooms for new carpets and found a discrepancy. There is a small secret office behind a panel, and there is a lot of evidence of an Ankh-Morpork spy with notes about the local politics and the projections for mining deposits. Vetinari`s source of information was the previous incumbent Sleeps, who is missing.
That evening there is to be a grand reception for all the delegations, however Dee has been told by Rhys to take Vimes and Cherry aside to show them how the Stone of Scone is protected - reached by boat with a lift involved. Vimes and Cherry soon have a couple of ideas how it could be done. The theft is politically motivated though by Agi Hammerthief. The Scone will be returned if Rhys steps down in favour of Albrecht. No Scone means no legitimacy to the king.
The coronation guests go to a performance of the opera Bloodaxe and Ironhammer, but Dee has been told to show Vimes and Cheery the security for the Scone of Stone. Though it seems to be well protected they both see flaws. They catch the end of the opera, but Vimes notices one of the huge chandeliers is about to fall directly onto the King. He manages to grab him to safety - and wakes up in a cell. The dwarfs are convinced he was behind it all as Skimmer`s body was found by the chandelier attachment, and he had actually made physical contact with the king. He manages to escape and finds a way out. It is cold outside and a warm spring is welcome. Wolfgang and family turn up. They were expecting him, and tell him the rules of The Chase. Vimes has an hours start

The most famous Dwarf opera is celebrated on an
Ankh-Morpork stamp with the city claiming to be
Home of Culture.

Vimes, wearing little in the snow, manages to get some trousers at a farmhouse, and then takes a boat down river. The werewolves follow along the banks, knowing he will go over the falls soon. Vimes survives and heads for the bank near some fat geysers, before taking refuge in a tree. Wolfgang admits to killing Sleeps, Skimmer and actually using the AM coach to bring the replica Scone to Bonk. Vimes is saved by the arrival of Angua and Carrot, with Gavin and the wolves, and they take him back to the embassy on a sled. Cheery and Detritus are freed from house arrest and they go to get Sybil from the von Uberwalds where she was taken when Sam was arrested. There is a fight between Carrot and Wolfgang leaving Carrot injured. Gavin (and Gaspode) grapple with Wolfgang and they fall into the whitewater river. Vimes demands the replica Scone is brought out and he takes this to the King. Dee is revealed as a traitor and as a female, while Albrecht declares that the Scone is the true one - even though Dee had ground the original to dust. The King reveals that the Scone has had to be replaced at least five times; even dwarf bread does not last 1,500 years.

The six pence stamp from the Cruel and Unusual
Geography issue from the Year of the Sneezing
Panda showing theFat Geysers of Uberwald

A pair of LBE labels from the Year of the Reversed
Ptarmigan carry the werewolf theme.

Back the embassy Wolfgang reappears and kills Igor. He has now committed a crime on Ankh-Morpork territory and Sam can go after him in hot pursuit. He fires a flare which kills the werewolf, and Captain Tantony of the Bonk guard declares it was just a warning shot and Vimes would not have known the wolf would naturally jump at it.
There is just one more ceremony. Rhys Rhysson is crowned Low King and the Ankh-Morpork delegation are given leaving presents. Sam and Sybil will take a longer journey home than the rest; they will soon be parents. Carrot finds the Watchhouse deserted apart from Fred, and hopes that he can get everything normal before the Commander returns.

And a little smelly talking dog finds a trip on a slow barge going down to the plains relaxing

Rhys Rhysson, the Low King, on the 30 Bz
sport from Uberwald.