Three men, one long and thin, another large in every direction and a third unable to scratch his nose, slipped silently into Ankh-Morpork by rowing boat under the Water Gate.

William de Worde lived an easy life. He wrote newsletters about the events in Ankh-Morpork for the rulers of the neighbouring states. This took him one day per month, and earned him enough money to live reasonably well for that month.He came from a landed gentry family, but totally disagreed with his father Lord de Worde and has gone his own way of life. He would neatly write the stories onto a block of wood and take it to Mr Cripslock who would carefully remove the excess from around the letters and it would be used as a printing block. He was one such a mission on a freezing icy evening when an out of control cart knocks him flying. He wakes up in a dwarf workshop, and they have a printing press. What is more they have developed movable type. They can put together a page within minutes, proof read it, make corrections and rattle off a hundred copies. The workshop is ones of those in the yard of The Bucket, the Watchman`s choice of drinking establishment. William`s woodblock is broken so the dwarfs print him off the newsletter for him and he goes down to the Hubwards Gate to hand them over to his messengers.

An example of the Tiny Post covers,addressed to the landlord of The Bucket.

Cripslocks have engraved some of the Discworld stamps like this Merchants guild two pence.

The Hubwards Gate was the centre-piece for the $5 triangular
issued in the Year of the Happy Goose

William could do his newsletter this way. Mr Goodmountain convinces him that he could sell copies to the public at a few pence each and make a good profit. Foul Old Ron and his cronies are recruited to stand on the street corners and sell them. Sacharussa Cripslock confronts him about denying her elderly grandfather his income, but William`s enthusiasm captures her, and they plan the second edition of The Times. The Patrician, Vetinari, has heard of the press and makes a visit, and gives it tentative approval. they wants to include pictures in the newspaper and iconographer Otto von Chriek, a black-ribboner vampire applies. He has to carry an emergency kit with him. Each time he uses the flash to talk a photograph he ends up as a pile of dust and has to be reconststituted.

The 60 Bizot stamp from Uberwald, issued in the Year of The
Justifiably Defensive Lobstaer was unusual in that it was Coffin shaped,
as was the whole sheet. Each of the twelve stamps on the sheet had a
different League of Temperance motto.

                                  
The Snowy Festive Patrician          Most of the Ankh-Morpork vampires are members of the          Foul Old Ron and Gaspode on a
                                                 League of Temperance using a variety of substitutes to           Wincanton post label issued for
                             human blood. This is the half empty sport representing                   Xmas in 2010
 Otto’s episodes when he nearly lapsed.

The men in the boat were The New Firm; Mr Pin, the brains of the outfit, and Mr ____ ing Tulip, a mass of chemical fueled anger. The third man, bearing an uncanny likeness to Vetinari, is kept chained up in the cellar of a large house. Mr Slant, head of the Guild of Lawyers is acting as an intermediary between the Firm and a group of anonymous but influential men calling themselves the Committee to Unelect the Patrician. He forwards them their sealed instructions and will hand over their considerable fees. Mr Tulip is not all brawn though. In the big house he can appraise the works of art there, and readily spot a forgery.

The Lawyers Guild one pence stamp.

The next big story for the Times soon comes along. Rumours spread that Vetinari has killed someone, and been arrested trying to leave the city with $70,000. He was even heard to shout I killed him. William hurries to the Palace and manages to get some information about the incident (Drumknott has been stabbed and injured but not killed), speaks to Nobby and views the crime scene. So many things do not add up. There is a strong smell of peppermint, a crossbow bolt in the floor, Vetinari was inexplicably unconscious in the stables. His horse was very much weighted down with gold coins, and would not have been much use for a quick getaway. And Mr Wuffles is missing. Everybody is looking for Mr Wuffles.

The Patrician`s Palace on the $5 triangular stamp.
Architectural topologists believe the Oblong Office lies
on an upper floor and on the left side of this view.

The success of The Times has not gone unnoticed. They get a visit from Mr Slant and the Guild of Engravers and printers who want an extortionate amount for them to join. Sacharissa points out that the new guild charter is not signed by the Patrician who is both in custody and out for the count. Next day a new newsletter hits the streets. Called The Inquirer, it is so cheap they must be making a loss, and is full of unbelievable stories that the public want to believe. They have also bought up all the paper in Ankh-Morpork. William visits Harry King, who supplied the recycled paper and impresses him sufficiently to let him have a wagonload, but Harry will require pay-back sometime

The Guild of Engravers half pence stamp

William meets a hidden informant calling himself Deep Bone in Hobsons multi-storey stables. Deep Bone wants payment for inside information on the Vetinari incident. Returning to the Gleam St workshop, William is called upon by Pin and Tulip posing unconvincingly as an Omnian priest and nun. They get nasty, but Otto dares to use dark-light flash photography on them which produces past and future memories. These two have more terrible things to remember than most.

Omnia one obal stamp with the
Sacred Tortoise of Om
 

The Beggars Guild have their own stamps of a sort. They are best
referred to as tokens and come in five designs

The word is that Mr Scrope of Wixons Alley, head of the Shoemakers Guild, will be elected as the new Patrician. And more information comes to light that Vetinari behaved abnormally before the crime. His breath smelled of alcohol, and he entered the Palace through the back door. In Gleam St, they go down to the cellars and find the rooms and roads that have been built over as the city sinks slowly. They can break into the Inquirer`s premises and find it is CMOT Dibbler writing the stories there. William takes $50 to meet Deep Bone and is met by Gaspode the talking dog disguised as a pink poodle called Trixiebell.

Wixons Alley was also in the running to be adopted as a street name transplanted from Ankh-Morpork to Wincanton.

He takes William to the Canting Crew beggars where it is revealed that Foil Old Ron has had Mr Wuffles up his coat since the crime. Trixiebell translates Wuffles account of what happened. A look-alike was supposed to frame the Patrician by killing Drumknott, and the real Vetinari getting hit over the head and placed in the stables. But it all went a bit wrong when Wuffles bit Mr Tulip`s leg and ran off.
The New Firm go to Mr Slant and say they want their payment. Mr Pin has bought a Dis-Organiser II to record conversations as an insurance. Meanwhile The Times will be covering Lady Selachii`s ball and William gives Sacharissa the key to the empty family town house to help herself to one of his sister`s gowns. She finds Charlie, the Vetinari double chained in the wine cellar there, and is surprised by Pin and Tulip. This is their headquarters. The New Firm descend on Gleam St and a rumpus breaks out. An oillamp is broken and a fire breaks out. Mr Pin falls on a spike and Mr Tulip is killed in the cellar by molten lead dripping through. William takes the gems the pair were paid with, and now he can hire the Inquirer`s presses to print the next edition. It reveals that Vetinari has been framed but stops at naming names. William confronts his father as leader of the plot, and sends him back to the country. Vimes is convinced that William knows more than he is revealing. He has the Dis-Organisers incriminating evidence.

Mr Wuffles with his owner as painted by Wm Poulter on
 this six pence stamp.

The Patrician calls at the temporary workshops (the old ones are being rebuilt), still not entirely happy with a free press. William asks, with pencil and notepad ready, if he will be attending Harry King`s daughter`s wedding. He will. The big debts are settled.