I said Woof, woof, bark

Edward d`Eath came from a noble family that had fallen on the hardest of times. With the remains of the family fortune he bought himself a postgraduate course at the Assasins Guild. This allowed him to to find the final clues he needed on the fate of the royal family of Ankh-Morpork. In the library he finds out about the sword of the king, and on field trip to woods near Copperhead a fire damaged ring where a family had been ambushed was revealed. He thinks he knows who the rightful heir is. Unfortunately he does not inspire the likes of Lords Selachhi and Rust that Ankh-Morpork needs a return to the days when the city had a king. His ideas and food are deemed below par, though the d`Eath wine cellars still have some commendable wines. He also has information about a Leonard of Quirm invention scribbled in the margins of a notebook on a page concerning improvements to crossbow design.                                             The Assassins guild threepence from the Year of the
.                                      .                                      Spinning Mouse used a six colour printing process 
.                                                  .                      adding both gloss varnish and bright silver. It is perhaps
.                                      .                                      one of the most sophisticated Discworld stamps.

Captain Sam Vimes of the watch is getting married soon, and that will mean his retirement. His bride is Lady Sybil Ramkin, richest woman in the city. He hands over his sword, but hangs onto his badgem AWCP 177. Sybil is well known, not only for her wealth, but also for the Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons. One of the swamp dragons, Chubby, has gone missing and Sam is sent to look for him. The Watch is in the hands of Sgt Colon and Cpl Carrot. In order not to be speciesist they are taking on trolls (Detritus) and dwarfs (Cuddy), as well a female officer (Angua). Angua has a secret, which is only apparent to Gaspode the talking dog.

The Penny Copper sport shows
Sam Vimes` City Watch badge

This Sunshine Sanctuary cover is stamped with
two Penny Civics.

At the Assassins Guild building there is an explosion. Vimes and Carrot go to investigate. As they make their way there they pass the old Ankh-Morpork Post Office. Carrot mentions Royal Mail and swiftly corrected. Its the Post Office. The city has not had a king for centuries, not since Lorenzo the Kind (who really was not unless it was to his own children) was beheaded by someone called Stoneface. The guild is not keen to have the Watch involved, but they notice a shattered mirror, and that something has been stolen from the museum. Returning, to the watch house, and prompted by Gaspode, Chubby`s collar is found. Someone had the dragon in a box, and opened it so that Chubby faced a mirror. He would have reacted as if it was a rival male, and with his flame was confined there was a large explosion.

     The Assassins Guild building is on the         The Halfpenny Foxy Variant showing the         The citys postal service was started by I.
     twenty pence stamp from the Year of    AMPO building was also issued in the same year       Lambert Cordwainer during the reign of
     the Happy Goose                                                                                                                           .King Lorenzo
A body is found dumped on the River Ankh (on because of the nature of the turgid waters). It is that of Bjorn Hammerhock, a dwarf metalworker, and he has a big hole in his chest. Someone has visited his workshop with an object for repair,. Somehow the object has gone off.
Commander Vimes of the City Watch visits the Patrician at the Palace. He is in the B.S. Johnson designed garden, with its ho-ho (much much deeper than a ha-ha), and a trout lake, 150 yards long and 1 inch wide. Vimes is specifically instructed not to investigate the guilds or the death. Colon has found a museum label stuck to his boot. It simply states GONNE

The Great Inventors $5 Double Header depicts both Johnson
 and Leonard. It was only available to Journal subscribers

The Watch has been to Bjorns workshop and found both a slug of metal deep in the wall and a piece of paper with writing-like symbols. It is taken to Mr Silverfish at the Alchemists Guild. He tells them that it is the formula for N^o 1 powder, as used in fireworks. Then another body is found, Beano of the Fools Guild. They call on the guild, but Dr Whiteface is uncooperative. And despite Beano being dead for two days, he was seen leaving just the day before. Back at Pseudopolis Yard something is firing pellets at Sam Vimes from the Opera House roof. Vimes gains access to the roofs via the surgery of Zorga the Retrophrenologist, but only finds something like six metal tubes held together.

When the original Watch House is burned down,                                              Beano`s make-up egg as displayed in
Lady Sybil presents The Watch with a new HQ at Pseudopolis Yard                  the Guilds Hall of Faces. Like RW
                                                                                                                   clowns each Fool registers his unique appearance on an eggshell.                                                                                                                                                                                          

             The Alchemist Guild postal label            The Fools Guild 1p was only available on an         Dr Whiteface as he appears on the                                                                                                FDC with the 10p of similar design                 Fools Guild threepenny stamp

Zorga is not the only Retrophrenologist operating in the City. This junk mail, from Dr Zeltner, was available from the trading scheme. It is just one of two covers with the  AMPO post paid stamp.
 
The Pseudopolis Yard watch house on the Merchants Guild 75p stamp, part of their city tourism promotional series.

Carrot and Angua are called to the Beggars Guild where lady-in-waiting to Queen Molly, Lettice, has been killed by a similar contrivance. As Lettice was wearing red velvet, it may have been that Molly was the target. Vimes deduces the nature of the Gonne, but is called again to the palace after more guild complaints. He and the Night Watch are stood down and Sam goes out and gets drunk. Colon and Nobby feed him the strongest Klatchian coffee. Vetinari consults with Leonard of Quirm, who is secreted in the Palace. He hopes he has pushed Sam just enough, and Leonard is assured that the Assassins were instructed to destroy the Gonne. Both Angua (as a wolf in company with Gaspode) and Carrot independently find out that the Assassins and Fools know about a hole in the wall between the two guildhouses, and that Edward d`Eath had been leaving the Assassins through this hole wearing Beano`s makeup. Each clown has his own distinctive face and no clown would dream of using another clown`s face. At the Assassins Guild there is a bundle of papers indicating that it is Carrot who is rightful heir to the throne of Ankh-Morpork.

One of the Beggars Guild token stamps.                                                                                                 Samples of Klatchian coffee beans
There were five variations of the design                                                                                                       complete with a 2p duty stamp

Cubby and Detritus are next to be shot at. They chase the criminal into the pork futures warehouse, where they find themselves locked in. The temperature rapidly falls and there only chance is for Detritus to hurl Cubby out through a skylight. Cubby manages to get the warehouse keys off Gerhardt Sock, the butcher, and rescue Detritus. They continue the hunt and it leads them into a group of trolls and a group of dwarfs; both of them hostile They retreat into an alley but the ground gives way and they fall into Via Cloaca - the sewers of ancient Ankh-Morpork; and they find the body of another Beano the Clown! They have to dig themselves out, coming out in the University Library.

           The third letter chronicling the correspondence between Thrashers School for Boys                The penny farthing university stampf
                 in Pseudopolis and Gerhardt Sock has an 8p on AMPO 10p overprin               trom the Year of the Spinning Mouse has an almost                                                                                                                                                           Escheresque image of the Library..

Cpt Quirke of the Day Watch has taken over all of the Watch and arrested Coalface for the murder of Bjorn on the basis that he is a troll, so he must be guilty of something. This sets off dwarf-troll riots across the city. Carrot uses the ordinances of the city (breakdown of law and order) to form a militia, set Coalface free, arrests Quirke, and enrols the riot leaders in order to restore calm.
Vimes is heading for University Great Hall for his wedding. The Librarian will be playing B.S. Johnsons Great Organ. The militia is keeping watch and Cuddy is sent to the Tower of Art as a lookout. As Vetinari arrives in his coach, shots are fired, and both Vetinari and Carrot are injured. Cuddy is found dead at the tower. Vimes, Angua and Carrot follow the gunman who escapes down the sewers. Here they confront Dr Cruces who confesses that while d`Eath started the ball rolling, he, Cruces, had killed Edward and taken over the project. He wants Vetinari removed and a king restored. Angua is shot and Carrot kills Cruces.
The wedding goes ahead.

From the Year of the Second Inception the Unseen University penny farthing,
and the Tower of Art $1 with Falling Man sport.

Cubby is buried in at the Small Gods. His coffin is a bit heavier than expected, but no-one has found the gonne, Angua recovers, as only silver can kill her. Vetinari meets with Carrot. The Watch is reinstated, they can have a new kettle and dartboard. Carrot has detailed plans to cover the city with a contingent of 52 watchmen. There will also be a proper City Watch Widows and Orphans fund. Carrot is promoted to Captain but says he cannot be the top officer.
Vimes receives a letter from Vetinari informing him that he will be the Commander of the Watch, and that rank carries a knighthood.
The Penny Copper contributes 1 Elim to the fund. It was found that                           The Sir Sam Vimes $1 stamp, showing his AMCW 177 badge.
Vimes was giving nearly half his salary to those in need, as there
were no pensions for dependents of dead colleagues.