Now there`s a name that ain`t got its teeth in

The Curious Squid is so unpalatable that only the most skilled chefs can prepare it so that there is nothing left. That is what makes it a profitable catch for Solid Jackson and his son in the middle of the Circle Sea, Except tonight there are no curious squid to be caught. Just as the ship prepares to return empty handed the crew mysteriously find they are perched on a weather-cock! It is part of a city on an island that has risen from the seabed. Jackson claims for it for Ankh-Morpork, but a Klatchian fisherman is also claiming it for Klatch. Both hurry back to their own cities.

The 2 Wol stamp from Klatch.

The Curious Squid on the 3p stamp from
the Flora and Fauna set.

Solid Jackson sponsored a special Merchants Guild $2 Civic stamp. This and one of his pre-paid envelopes with a mail order form were available as a Green Cabbage Trading Scheme offer, together with a strip of his Merchant Vouchers.

Around the square in front of the Patricians Palace are the guild buildings, each marked with their own distinctive weather-cocks; an assassin atop the Assassins Guild or a pig on the Butchers Guild. Anti-Klatchian feeling from the soapboxes is rising. The mysterious Island of Leshp belongs to Ankh-Morpork and Vetinari is meeting the guilds. He points out to Lord Downey that assassin is a Klatchian word, they have been practicing the art for longer, and the guild has been not only training some of their best, but allowed them to have detailed knowledge of the city. The Guild of Armourers have profited from arms sales there - only the best for Klatch. Mr Slant reminds them of Acquiris Quodcumquae Rapis, Eminent Domain. Vetinari reminds them the city has no money, and has had no army since Stoneface Vimes executed the last king. Sam Vimes is against war but is reminded that the nobility retain the right to raise regiments.

       The Assassins Guild two pence showing                The AMPO $1 Leshp issue     The Guild of Armourers mini-sheet shows  .
Wiggy Charlie, the weathervanein                                                                 Mr Burleigh various suits of armour

Vimes is required to lead the annual procession of the University Convivium. There are members of the Klatchian royal family there, He meets Prince Khufarah, who is cultured and intelligent, and shifty 71-hour Ahmed, who carries a scimitar on his back. During the procession Vimes breaks protocol by lighting up a Pantweeds cigar. That is when he notices someone on the Barbican, someone who should not be there. The Prince is wounded by a crossbow bolt after Carrot pushes him aside. At the Barbican the Watch, with new recruits Reg Shoe (zombie) and Buggy Swires (Gnome), find a dead small time villain Ossie Brunt and crossbow. His access inside was nailed up from the outside and was too far away to be the culprit.
Pantweeds used the opportunity of the postal labels on the .                     The Assassins Guilds first stamp was rumoured to have toxic gum, and was
Merchants Guild 2p sheet to advertise their products                                           consequently only used by the un-dead. Before being a watchman,
                                                                                                                                 Reg Shoe ran the Fresh Start Club for zombies.

He was not a lone  bowman.Ossie`s room has a chest of Klatchian money and some sand on the floor- its all too obvious. 71 Ahmed may also have been there. Suspicion falls on Daceyville Slopes as being the other bowman, but he is found beheaded. Vimes suspects Lord Rust may be behind it when Prince Cadram virtually declares war. Rust has already started raising a regiment. A fire at the Klatchian embassy results in Vimes seeing Ahmed leaving with a body sized bundle. He is later seen at the docks boarding a ship and Prince Khufarah is missing. Angua follows in wolf form and is captured.

Ankh-Morpork docks feature in the background
of the Merchants $5

Vetinari steps down as Patrician for the duration leaving Lord Rust in charge, and Vimes hands in his badge, followed by the rest of the Watch. Various regiments are being formed. Even Willikins has signed up for Lord Venturi`s Heavy Infantry who will look smart in their red uniforms when crossing the desert. Vimes has found that as a knight he can raise a regiment himself, and soon they are commandeering Mr Jenkins` ship, the Prid of Ankh-Morpork, to follow the Klatchians across the Circle Sea. Vetinari has recruited Nobby and Fred for a secret mission with Leonard of Quirm in his Going-under-water-safely vessel. They investigate around and under Leshp. It is actually floating on a bubble of noxious gases bubbling up from the seabed. They carry on to Al-khali where  Fred, Nobby and Vetinari acquire some local clothes. They belonged to stage artistes Gulli, Gulli and Beti, and while Vetinari was suited to magic tricks ("Egg, Melon. Melon, Egg"), Nobby`s involves a veil and harem pants. This does allow them to gather information as to where the Klatchian army is, and they head there on a magic carpet,

The Prid of Ankh-Morpork in full sail, shown on the
6p stamp issued in the Year of the Backward-facing Artichoke.

The Sir Samuel Vimes $1 blue. This is the more widely
available version of this stamp.

            
This is a rejected alternative designfor the Leshp $1         Leonard of Quirm on the Great Inventors $           1Harem pants are probablyincluded

Meanwhile Angua has escaped from 71-hour Ahmed`s ship and swum ashore. They are closely followed by Vimes` regiment who are greeted by the D`regs of Klatch and Ahmed admits to being a sort of policeman. They form a sort of alliance and head for the Klatchian garrison of Gerba, both still suspecting their own side in the assassination attempt. Ahmed is the victor in this little game. It was all plot by Prince Cadram to usurp Khifarah and to gain the throne.
By the time Vetinari with Fred and Nobby arrive on their flying carpet Carrot has the armies of Klatch and Ankh-Morpork playing a game of foot-the-ball. He brought a ball in his backpack just in case it would be needed

The Klatch it if you Kan LBE label shows a magic carpet in flight

The 20 wol stamp issued during the Year of the Backward-facing Artichoke
shows a Klatchian airmail delivery service aboard a flying carpet.

Vimes` Dis-Organiser reads out a list of scheduled appointments. They all involve the death of most of the Watch back in the city - This is what would have happened if Vimes had decided not to follow Ahmed to rescue Angua.
Carrot had read up on the historic Morporkian military commander Tacticus - they are near the remains of the Morporkiab city he founded in the Klatchian desert. Vetinari announces to all that Ankh-Morpork will surrender and this will be ratified by both sides, on Leshp in 4 days. Everyone returns home and Vetinari is arrested for treason. But at his trial it is revealed that Leshp has once again sunk and so the treaty cannot be signed. He has managed to embarrass Klatch, and avoided a war that Rust would have surely lost, with just the loss of 17 men.                                                    Cruel & Unusual Geography
Vetinari tells Sam that he has been reminded that the rank of Commander entitles him to be elevated to Duke of Ankh-Morpork. Vimes counters by saying only the king can do this, but notes that the Patrician had been talking to Carrot, who has been suspected of being the legitimate heir to the throne

The ruins of Tacticum, build by General Tacticus,
lies in the deserts of Klatch.