Lord Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, receives a message from Agatea delivered by a Pointless Albatross. He is informed that the Silver Horde, having conquered the counterweight continent, is bored. A barbarian hero`s life is not about being waited on by sycophantic servants. The original Hero, Fingers Mazda, stole fire from the gods way back in the mists of time. In punishment he was chained up so that he could have his guts ripped out each day by an eagle. Cohen the Barbarian, leading the Silver Horde, is going to return it, but with interest. They have set out for Cori Celesti, the mountain at the centre of Discworld where the gods live, with some Agatean thunder clay.
The Agatean embossed gold stamp used on the
Correspondence from Agatea cover.

The red sport of the 1 Rhinu stamp shows
a fire-dog whichalso employs thunder clay.

On their travels from Agatea the Horde has been augmented by Evil Harry Dread, who may be the last of the Dark Lords, and Vena the Raven-haired though she is now grey, and a widowed  grandmother. All of them had received a scroll map marking the location of Dunmanifestin, so Cohen is aware that this is a trap, but heroes walk into those fearlessly. With them is The Bard, who has no name, who was kidnapped in order to chronicle their exploits for all eternity, in the form of a saga. Unfortunately he is more of a minstrel, with no experience in composing rhyming epics, though he is perhaps not as harmless as he seems. He was employed at the Ankh-Morpork embassy in Hung-hung, and minstrels are trained at the Fools Guild. A perfect combination for a spot of espionage, explaining his employment at the embassy..

The Fools Guild 10p shows the
guild headquarters

The Unseen University informs Vetinari that any attempt to destroy Cori Celestri will also destroy the Discworld magic field, and only this holds Discworld together. The wizards try to find them using an Omniscope, though tuning it presents problems. At first Vetinari can only see what is behind the lens, like a win-dow, then he only sees his reflection like a mir-ror. Stibbons explains that what he is seeing may not be in the same time frame. Eventually it works and they find that Cohen is too close to the hub to catch him up conventionally. Speed is essential to get there in time to prevent a catastrophe. Leonard of Quirm has been working on a flying machine, The Kite, which will whisk them there, but can only carry three. Leonard will pilot it, and Carrot of the Watch, and Rincewind for the University will accompany him. It is powered by a hundred or so Swamp Dragons of course.
The Guilds and priests are formed into sub-committees to get them out of the way. Hughnon Ridcully, head priest of Io considers how belief works with new gods appearing like Aniger, the Oh God of squashed animals after wagons started going faster. Will prayer to all the gods by their believers be enough?
The Patrician can see himself in the Vetinari Double-header from the Year of the Second Inception.

Rincewind as featured on a Royal Mail first class stamp.

The Kite is shown on the Leonard of
Quirm Great Inventors $3 stamp.

The Aniger threepenny votive stamp

Ships take the Kite`s crew, and the artificers who are still improving it, to the Rim. The swamp dragons are tested with special fuel devised by Leonard for extra flames.
The Kite is launched over the Rim and down past the elephants and A`tuin. Unknown to the others, the Librarian has also slipped aboard causing a bit of consternation regarding onboard oxygen levels.They have to make an unscheduled stop on the moon for fresh oxygen, but are able to make use of the Moon Dragons which have a bit more push to their flames.

Swamp Dragons on the Year of the Spinning Mouse Hogswatch stamps

The Horde have arrived, but have already been betrayed by Evil Harry, doing what was expected of a Dark Lord. Cohen expected nothing less. The Horde will continue but asks Harry to await the return of the Bard and guide him back to civilisation. The gods know they are coming, even when they are wearing disguises as new gods. They are playing games with them. Fate suggests to Cohen a game of dice. Anyone who can beat him is worthy of remaining in Dunmanifestin, All Cohen has to do is get a higher number on a single roll. Fate then throws a six. Cohen tosses the dice, slices it midair with his sword and the two halves land showing a six and a one.
The Bard was raised a Nugganite, and spots Nuggan himself in the crowd. He berates the god for all the abominations he had to obey growing up; no garlic, no chocolate. Cohen calms him down saying the saga has to be finished, but the Bard can give himself a bit part right there.
Playing dice is popular in both Dunmanifestin and the gambling
dens of Ankh-Morpork.

The Ankh-Morpork party arrive, crash landing in the snow and through the main gates, and Carrot takes on the Silver Horde alone. In their eyes this means he is a true Hero, perhaps even a king, and as such by outnumbering him seven to one they cannot win. Convinced that detonating the thunder clay will destroy Discworld and thus their story will not be told, the Horde notice the fuse has been lit so throw the thunder clay and themselves from Cori Celestri. There is an explosion ten miles below and they meet seven Valkyries. They are there to take heroes to the Halls of the Slain where a feast and drink and fighting is laid out for them. But Death has not appeared to the Horde, just Vena. The Horde take the Valkyries` mounts and ride off for more heroic barbaric deeds. First off is freeing Mazda and arming him.

                    
Nugganitic postal label that was included    Cor Celesti from the Cruel         The AMPO Blind Io five pence from          
in the Borogravia 3 pence sheet        and Unusual Geography set         the Year of the Second Inception.

The Two Rhinu Agatean stamp issued in the Year of the Backward-facing Artichoke shows Cohen in his position as The Last Emperor before he upped and disappeared

The Gods have a punishment for Leonard. He must paint the ceiling of the Temple of Small Gods in less than twenty years without any scaffolding (he actually completes the task in three weeks). Carrot has a request for the gods to help rebuild the Kite for the return journey. Blind Io has close call after calling the Librarian a monkey. He returns home with a red balloon. The Bard meets Evil Harry on his way down. He is now a different person. Any bad deeds by Harry and he will be garroted with a lyre string

The Temple of Small Gods $5 triangle
from the Year of the Sneezing Panda